Emotional Freedom & Healing News Feature Article: Five Simple Steps to Emotional Healing: The Last Self Help Book You Will Ever Need

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This is an excerpt from
Five Simple Steps to Emotional Healing: The Last Self Help Book You Will Ever Need
by Gloria Arenson, MFT (published by Simon and Schuster)

Narrative tapping is extremely helpful to use when you have a problem that you want to talk about but no one is around. Maybe you had a dream the other night that is still on your mind, and you wish you could understand what it means. Sometimes your problem is too personal to trust to another, yet you are puzzled about how to resolve it. These are good times to use the Narrative approach.

Narrative Meridian Therapy is simply talking out loud to yourself while you tap the energy points. It also works if you say the words silently to yourself, thinking them in your head. Keep tapping round after round, and keep talking to yourself without stopping, until you are satisfied with the result.

You will want to be totally honest with yourself to get the best results. Use your own words. It’s OK to use curse words, if that is how you feel. It’s all right to admit feelings and thoughts you might be ashamed of if others could hear you. Pretending that things are fine when they aren’t or telling yourself that your rage or fear is childish keeps you from clearing the negativity contributing to your unease and unhappiness. These adverse thoughts and feelings are like pus in a wound. Clean it out!

Carol’s cussing

Carol was furious with her family. She would tend to be ladylike when talking to a friend. Then she would say, “I hate them for what they did. I wish I never had to see them again.” What she really was thinking sounded very different: “I wish I had an Uzi and could mow them down. I would like to annihilate every one of those *%$#@ people. They don’t deserve to live after what they did to me!” Of course Carol wouldn’t act out her rage; however, she felt better after venting her feelings while tapping. After a minute or two the anger dissipated. Then Carol felt great sadness both for herself and for the emotionally troubled people who brought her up.

Avoiding a fight

One evening when Shawna, an attractive woman in her forties, was at her twenty-three-year-old boyfriend’s apartment, she began to feel very upset but couldn’t figure out why. She knew that he hadn’t done or said anything to disturb her, but the feeling wouldn’t go away. Shawna knew that if she let her agitation remain and grow, she would start a fight with him for no reason. She excused herself and went into the bathroom where she could be alone. Tapping and talking out loud to herself released what was really bothering her. Her fears and negative thoughts were about being older than her boyfriend. She worried that he would eventually want someone younger. As she tapped she realized that her maturity and intelligence were what made her such an interesting and fascinating partner. All dread dissolved as she tapped. She was then able to be loving and happy in a genuine way, without effort.Tracy’s night terrorTracy, a sixty-year-old professional woman, was upset because she was waking up at 3 AM with a terror about dying. This happened a few nights in a row. She began to worry about going to bed the next night. As she talked and tapped it sounded something like this:

“I don’t like these feelings of terror. I am afraid.”
“Uh oh, next week is my sixtieth birthday. Sixty, that’s old.”
“This aging thing is awful. I don’t want to get old.”
“Getting old means becoming invisible. I will fade away.”
“People won’t take me seriously and know who I am.”
“When people know who I am it makes me feel alive.”
“I am an achiever. I want to keep it that way.”
“Fame fades. Where are all the famous people from my youth now?”
“Is this what it is all about, being known and recognized?”
“But it’s too late in my life. Time and opportunity have passed me by."
“It’s never too late. Who knows what else I will do in my life!”
“I feel regret, regret, regret.” (tapped the same word on all points)
“I’m remembering all the men who were my contemporaries.”
“They are out there leading things, being renown.”
“Anger, anger, anger.” (tapped the same word on all points)
“My generation couldn’t achieve like those men. We were pressured to become wives and mothers first.”
“Too late! You only get one chance and I blew it.”
“Nonsense.”
“I feel sad, sad, sad, sad.” (tapped the same word on all points)
“I am through with this old stuff. I don’t need it anymore.”
“I feel better now.”

Tracy felt free of her unhappiness after less than five minutes, using the narrative method. Her sleep improved, and she stopped thinking about the past and got on with new projects.

When to talk to yourself
Narrative Meridian Therapy works best with a specific feeling or issue that can be narrowly pinpointed. It is also good to use in an emergency, as Shawna did. If you try to talk to yourself about a global problem like depression, compulsion, or trauma, you may find yourself stuck, going around and around in a negative loop. When that happens stop using the Narrative approach, and go back to the Five Easy Steps of Meridian Therapy, EFT or TFT.

A message from Richard Ross:

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